Finding The Words

Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week 2; Day 3

What keeps us from saying what we really feel to those we love?  If we are afraid, what are we afraid of?  What are some of the barriers that keep us from expressing what is really in our hearts?  How can we remove them?

I’m sure you know the feeling.  The love is there – you may even rehearse what you are going to say – but when you open your mouth in that person’s presence something else comes out, or in some cases, nothing at all.  You might even notice yourself doing or saying exactly the opposite of what you really want.

We are all victims of the patterns that have formed in our lives and relationships – well-worn grooves into which we fall without trying.  And maybe that’s part of the problem right there:  we aren’t trying.  These patterns can become so deep, it takes something earth-shattering to force us out of them.  This change of perspective is precisely the by-product of living like you were dying.

If you were dying, you would find it easier to say the things you always wanted to say to your loved ones.  In the Old Testament, when Jacob was about to die, he called his sons together.  “… these are the blessing with which Jacob blessed his twelve sons.  Each received a blessing that was appropriate to him” (Genesis 49:28 NLT).

What we’re talking about doing during these thirty days is changing the lens through which we see people.  Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed to speak words of blessing.

Here are some ways you might do this.  If it’s a spouse, remember the one you married – the wife/husband of your youth.  Recall why you loved them in the first place and reattach yourself to that love.  If it’s a child or sibling, remember their best qualities.  See them as you would see them from your deathbed and bless them for who they are.  If it’s a parent, regardless of how they may have failed you, they gave you the gift of life and for that you can be eternally grateful.  Remember that have had their own struggles in life, some of which you may never understand, because they lived in a different time and place.

Don’t be shy.  Speak what’s in your heart; this may be your last chance to let someone know.  Don’t leave your loved ones wondering if you loved them just because you didn’t have a chance to tell them.  Tell them now.

When it comes to speaking your heart, there is no better time than the present.  And if you can’t express what you really want to say, try living like you were dying.

Reflection Questions –

1.  What are some of your barriers to speaking sweeter to those you love?

2.  Ironically we usually experience the greatest barriers to expressing our true feeling with the ones we know the best.  Think about that person in light of what you would say to them if you were dying.  Write it down if you need to, then commit yourself to saying it soon … TODAY.

3.  One of the most powerful ways to speak sweeter is through writing a letter.  Consider taking the time to write a “love letter” to somebody you care about deeply.