Taken from the Live Like You Were Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 5
As we come to the end of this 30-day journey, we conclude with some thoughts from a young man whose life, even at only twenty years, resonates with the source of our study.
Michael Simon believes that the song, "Live Like You Were Dying" is sort of a theme song for him. "I grab life by the horns and dont let go -- seizing the day and squeezing the life out of it for all it is worth. Because of my mother's nine-year battle with breast cancer, I don't really take time for granted. I don't leave questions unasked and don't hesitate to express love in any form."
Here is a young man who has lived for the last nine years considering each day in the company of his mother to be his last. Three things he brings up here are significant conclusions for our study.
1. Make the most of every moment. It may be the last.
As we have seen, times is a precious commodity. Michael realizes that and spends it wisely and passionately. He is acutely aware of time passiing, and each new day he has with his mother is a blessing. And this has been going on for nine years! His example gives a realistic picture of what living like you were dying can actually do for you. It puts you in a state of suspended animation that forces you to not take anything for granted but to be thankful in all things. It is like a "time alert" that steps up all areas of alertness.
Jesus spoke of this mindset in Marks 13:33 when he said of his return: "Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come." He is telling us to live each day as if it were our last.
2. Live with no regrets - no unfinished business.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14).
Michael doesn't look back. What has happened has happened. He is more concerned with discovering the "what now's" of the present and the future than he is the "why's" of the past. He doesn't leave anything unasked, and I have a feeling he's not waiting around for the answer, either. Answers come to those who seek. Michael has no regrets because he knows everything that happens, happens for a reason, and his life is all about wrestling those reasons out of his experiences.
3. Love with urgency
Michael doesn't hesitate to express love in any form. I would take this to mean that he shares his love for his mom in words, in deeds, in remembering what is important to her, in sending her notes and reminders of his love, in listening when she needs to talk, and being silent when the last thing she needs is someone giving her advice. Maybe he takes her to places she loves where she can do what she loves to do.
And here's the final word and it's very important. Michael lives this way in relation to his mother, but everyone else in his life gets the benefit, because this intensity spills over into all of his other relationships and responsibilities as well. because of her, he takes nothing for granted. Can you say the same?
Reflective Thoughts ...
1. What have you learned as a result of this study? How would you like to live differently as a result of these last thirty days?
2. As we conclude this study, ask God to put you on a time alert -- to view life in slow motion so as to appreciate every moment for what it is.
3. Commit yourself to continuing to meet with your group or even one other person weekly to remind each other to live like you were dying. It's only as you actually face this possibility together that you can benefit from its perspective.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Making Peace
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 4
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
The difference between these views has huge implications on forgiveness.
An alumnus of Virginia Tech reported it was clear that those who planned an on-campus memorial to the victims intended to mourn the death of thirty-three people by puttong out as many stories in memory of each life.
"Memorabilia was left at each stone for the respective persons," he wrote, "even the shooter. So many artifacts were left at each stone that most of it has been moved inside. There was a table each of those killed including Seung-Hui Cho, the shooter. On his table one item that touched me was a simple 3 x 5 card with the words 'I forgive you' on it and no signature -- almost as if God had left it there for him. His table was full of as many artifacts as anyone, most of which reflected this feeling of forgiveness."
This is an extraordinary inclusion. Those who advocate such quick forgiveness must know that the alternative is to seethe with anger, resentment, and bitterness that can eat away a person's insides and render one incapable of kindess or grace. To refuse to give forgiveness is to become, yourself, a victim of another's crime. Those who refuse to forgive the shooter are perpetuating the control of his act over them. By forgiving, you take away that person's power over you. You turn things back over to God and trust him for justice to be done more wisely than you or I could ever determine it. There is no healing of wrongs done to us apart from forgiveness.
If Christ can forgive all of us for crucifying him with our sins, what crime is so great that we can't forgive someone who has sinned against us (a sin already forgiven by the cross)?
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
Reflective thoughts -
1. Read carefully the account of Jesus' death in Luke 23:26-49. Reflect on what Christ has to endure so you could be forgiven.
2. What can you learn from these students at Virgina Tech that is applicable to your life?
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
The difference between these views has huge implications on forgiveness.
An alumnus of Virginia Tech reported it was clear that those who planned an on-campus memorial to the victims intended to mourn the death of thirty-three people by puttong out as many stories in memory of each life.
"Memorabilia was left at each stone for the respective persons," he wrote, "even the shooter. So many artifacts were left at each stone that most of it has been moved inside. There was a table each of those killed including Seung-Hui Cho, the shooter. On his table one item that touched me was a simple 3 x 5 card with the words 'I forgive you' on it and no signature -- almost as if God had left it there for him. His table was full of as many artifacts as anyone, most of which reflected this feeling of forgiveness."
This is an extraordinary inclusion. Those who advocate such quick forgiveness must know that the alternative is to seethe with anger, resentment, and bitterness that can eat away a person's insides and render one incapable of kindess or grace. To refuse to give forgiveness is to become, yourself, a victim of another's crime. Those who refuse to forgive the shooter are perpetuating the control of his act over them. By forgiving, you take away that person's power over you. You turn things back over to God and trust him for justice to be done more wisely than you or I could ever determine it. There is no healing of wrongs done to us apart from forgiveness.
If Christ can forgive all of us for crucifying him with our sins, what crime is so great that we can't forgive someone who has sinned against us (a sin already forgiven by the cross)?
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
Reflective thoughts -
1. Read carefully the account of Jesus' death in Luke 23:26-49. Reflect on what Christ has to endure so you could be forgiven.
2. What can you learn from these students at Virgina Tech that is applicable to your life?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The Power of Forgiveness
Taken for the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 3
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
These familiar words in Christ were uttered from the cross about the people who were in the act of crucifying him on false charges. It's hard to imagine a more demanding circumstance for forgiveness to be offered. It is the ultimate example of forgiveness, and it was extended to us in that we all participated in his death via our sins. It is a high standard indeed that Christ set.
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
Funeral and memorial services are sometimes tough on family members. At a loved one's death, we rejoice in the hope of heaven, but we also feel our own mortality more than ever.
We wonder if we have sufficientely said our peace. Have grudges been resolved and disappointments been forgiven? Could we have done something to shave the distance that still existed between us? A helplessness sets in as the end nears.
But there is also a warm, enveloping blanket of God's grace over this all. We feel our own mortality, see someone else's, and yet somehow there is an ability to accept, as the Serenity Prayer has it, "what we cannot change."
The only regret we may have is: Why didn't we come to this realization sooner? Why do we have to be near the end before we can let go? We apply God's grace and forgiveness at the end because we don't have a choice; we need to learn how to do this while we do have a choice.
Forgiveness is all about letting go. Those who don't forgive are the ones who find themselves mired in their own hostility and blame, headed toward becoming the very thing they hate. We think we are setting the other person free by forgiving, but we are really doing ourselves the biggest favor. Forgivess becomes for us a sigh of relief -- a newfound freedom.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, and popularized through Alcoholics Anonymous movement, is a fitting prayer for living like you were dying.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Part of what we cannot change is what others have done to us. Part of what we can change is to forgive them and release them from our judgment. It takes courage, but we have to forgive in order to be at peace with others and ourselves. We can forgive. We can let it go. And the sooner we do this, the better. Don't wait until someone's deathbed, or your own.
Many people do not realize that the Serenity Prayer doesn't end there. The rest of this prayer may not be as well known as the first four line, but it is well suited for our study.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be resonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
This is the essence of forgiveness: surrender of our expectations, our rights, and our pride to God's will; giving him control in our lives and trusting that he has our best in mind in all circumstances.
Some of you are trapped in the hold of particularly helpless form of unforgiveness, because the person you are unwilling to forgive is no longer alive. You can't find peace, because you can't go to them, nor can they release you. But God can release you, in fact he already has. All that remains is for you to believe him and let go. So let it go, and step into the freedom of God's forgivenss, both for you and for the person you need to forgive. It's your choice now.
Reflective thoughts:
1. When was the last time you lost a relative, friend, or neighbor? Were you on good terms? Were you close? Could you have been closer? What were your regrets? Now take those regrets and apply the lesson learned to someon who is alive. Determine a plan of action for that person.
2. Is there someone with whom you have having a conflict? If that person were dying, would you go to them? What would you say?
3. Are you unable to forgive someone who has passed on? Even though they are gone, it can be helpful to write that person a letter, and set them and yourself free.
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
These familiar words in Christ were uttered from the cross about the people who were in the act of crucifying him on false charges. It's hard to imagine a more demanding circumstance for forgiveness to be offered. It is the ultimate example of forgiveness, and it was extended to us in that we all participated in his death via our sins. It is a high standard indeed that Christ set.
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
Funeral and memorial services are sometimes tough on family members. At a loved one's death, we rejoice in the hope of heaven, but we also feel our own mortality more than ever.
We wonder if we have sufficientely said our peace. Have grudges been resolved and disappointments been forgiven? Could we have done something to shave the distance that still existed between us? A helplessness sets in as the end nears.
But there is also a warm, enveloping blanket of God's grace over this all. We feel our own mortality, see someone else's, and yet somehow there is an ability to accept, as the Serenity Prayer has it, "what we cannot change."
The only regret we may have is: Why didn't we come to this realization sooner? Why do we have to be near the end before we can let go? We apply God's grace and forgiveness at the end because we don't have a choice; we need to learn how to do this while we do have a choice.
Forgiveness is all about letting go. Those who don't forgive are the ones who find themselves mired in their own hostility and blame, headed toward becoming the very thing they hate. We think we are setting the other person free by forgiving, but we are really doing ourselves the biggest favor. Forgivess becomes for us a sigh of relief -- a newfound freedom.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, and popularized through Alcoholics Anonymous movement, is a fitting prayer for living like you were dying.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Part of what we cannot change is what others have done to us. Part of what we can change is to forgive them and release them from our judgment. It takes courage, but we have to forgive in order to be at peace with others and ourselves. We can forgive. We can let it go. And the sooner we do this, the better. Don't wait until someone's deathbed, or your own.
Many people do not realize that the Serenity Prayer doesn't end there. The rest of this prayer may not be as well known as the first four line, but it is well suited for our study.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be resonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
This is the essence of forgiveness: surrender of our expectations, our rights, and our pride to God's will; giving him control in our lives and trusting that he has our best in mind in all circumstances.
Some of you are trapped in the hold of particularly helpless form of unforgiveness, because the person you are unwilling to forgive is no longer alive. You can't find peace, because you can't go to them, nor can they release you. But God can release you, in fact he already has. All that remains is for you to believe him and let go. So let it go, and step into the freedom of God's forgivenss, both for you and for the person you need to forgive. It's your choice now.
Reflective thoughts:
1. When was the last time you lost a relative, friend, or neighbor? Were you on good terms? Were you close? Could you have been closer? What were your regrets? Now take those regrets and apply the lesson learned to someon who is alive. Determine a plan of action for that person.
2. Is there someone with whom you have having a conflict? If that person were dying, would you go to them? What would you say?
3. Are you unable to forgive someone who has passed on? Even though they are gone, it can be helpful to write that person a letter, and set them and yourself free.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Why Not Forgive
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Reading Journal ... Week 4; Day 2
"What do we think we are gaining by not forgiving someone? Have you ever thought about that? Being unforgiving is something of which we're not very conscious; it's a natural human reaction to being hurt. That's probably because, if we actually thought through what we were doing, we would see how useless it is. However, today let's think about it.
The main reason we withhold forgiveness is most often a desire for justice, which isn't entirely wrong. Justice is good and right, but not in our hands. Only God can judge fairly and impartially. Yet someone needs to pay for wrongs done, and we think that by not forgiving someone we are evening the score. If someone has hurt us, we believe our refusal to forgive is a way of hurting that person back -- letting the offender know just how serious an offense they have committed. We might even think we are giving God a helping hand with justice. To forgive would be to "let them off the hook," when what we really want to do is inflict upon them something of the pain they have caused us.
But think a little further about this. What do we actually accomplish by refusing to forgive? Usually not what we seek. Payment extracted is rarely equal to the crime. We damage ourselves far more in this process than we do anyone else. We think we are making a big impact by not forgiving someone when, in fact, we are only carrying on our own private vendetta in our heads. Hold a grudge and so what? Everyone's lives move on -- everyone, that is except our own. That is how it goes when we deny forgiveness: we try to punich someone, but in reality, we are the ones who remain in prison.
If justice is the big deal (and it is) we are not good disseminators of it. Here's what the Bible says about this: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19).
Justice will be done, but not by our hand. In fact, we don't want to have anything to do with this business, because if we do, we are placing ourselves under God's judgment as well.
Which do you want for yourself: God's justice, or God's mercy? I can't think, given this choice, why anyone in his right mind would choose God's justice; and yet, when we judge someone else, this is what we are doing. We are announcing to God that we are choosing that we are choosing justice over mercy.
On the other hand, if we want mercy, then that is what we must give. We can't have it both ways. We can't have mercy for ourselves, and justice for all the people we don't like.
So "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Reflective thoughts -
1. Think about a time when you were denying forgiveness to someone. Sometimes unforgiveness disguises itself. Search your heart. Is there bitterness, cynicism, or distrust? Seriously consider this question, "How has my lack of forgiveness impacted my life?"
2. This week, be a peacemaker. Don't be so easily offended. Don't cling so tightly to your rights. Be a little more understanding and see if anyone notices.
"What do we think we are gaining by not forgiving someone? Have you ever thought about that? Being unforgiving is something of which we're not very conscious; it's a natural human reaction to being hurt. That's probably because, if we actually thought through what we were doing, we would see how useless it is. However, today let's think about it.
The main reason we withhold forgiveness is most often a desire for justice, which isn't entirely wrong. Justice is good and right, but not in our hands. Only God can judge fairly and impartially. Yet someone needs to pay for wrongs done, and we think that by not forgiving someone we are evening the score. If someone has hurt us, we believe our refusal to forgive is a way of hurting that person back -- letting the offender know just how serious an offense they have committed. We might even think we are giving God a helping hand with justice. To forgive would be to "let them off the hook," when what we really want to do is inflict upon them something of the pain they have caused us.
But think a little further about this. What do we actually accomplish by refusing to forgive? Usually not what we seek. Payment extracted is rarely equal to the crime. We damage ourselves far more in this process than we do anyone else. We think we are making a big impact by not forgiving someone when, in fact, we are only carrying on our own private vendetta in our heads. Hold a grudge and so what? Everyone's lives move on -- everyone, that is except our own. That is how it goes when we deny forgiveness: we try to punich someone, but in reality, we are the ones who remain in prison.
If justice is the big deal (and it is) we are not good disseminators of it. Here's what the Bible says about this: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19).
Justice will be done, but not by our hand. In fact, we don't want to have anything to do with this business, because if we do, we are placing ourselves under God's judgment as well.
Which do you want for yourself: God's justice, or God's mercy? I can't think, given this choice, why anyone in his right mind would choose God's justice; and yet, when we judge someone else, this is what we are doing. We are announcing to God that we are choosing that we are choosing justice over mercy.
On the other hand, if we want mercy, then that is what we must give. We can't have it both ways. We can't have mercy for ourselves, and justice for all the people we don't like.
So "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Reflective thoughts -
1. Think about a time when you were denying forgiveness to someone. Sometimes unforgiveness disguises itself. Search your heart. Is there bitterness, cynicism, or distrust? Seriously consider this question, "How has my lack of forgiveness impacted my life?"
2. This week, be a peacemaker. Don't be so easily offended. Don't cling so tightly to your rights. Be a little more understanding and see if anyone notices.
Monday, May 14, 2012
No Record of Wrongs
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 1
"...and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." Those seven words from the song "Live Like You Were Dying" are definitely worth pondering.
What causes us to deny forgiveness?
Revenge. When you have been hurt deeply, the natural human respons is to want the person who hurt you to go through an equal amount of suffering. Even the Old Testament law calls for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It is an equal and fair form of justice, but God's grace works on a different basis entirely. Grace refuses to seek revenge and it forgives. Jesus modeled this for us. 1 Peter 2:23 (NLT) says, "He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."
God knows that if all of us were to receive just payment for our sins that would be the end of the human race, so he has forgiven everyone and asks us to do the same. It's a remarkable turn of events but it's the only way there will be any healing or restoration in broken relationships.
Another reason we might deny forgiveness is that we want to hang on to our hurt because it has become our identity, a ready excuse, a smoke screen that blots out other problems we don't want to face. Consider the beggar in John 5:6 who had been sitting by the healing pool for thirty-seven years when Jesus came up to him and asked him if he wanted to get well. He didn't exactly say a hearty "Yes!" Instead he went into his well-worn excuse -- his catch-22 that no one was there to life him into the pool -- and skirted the question entirely. Some of us have been so identified with our anger and bitterness that we are afraid to let go and forgive. How differently we would live if we refues to use our hurt to gain attention and sympathy.
Or perhaps we deny forgiveness because we have never believed in our own forgiveness. Ture forgiveness begins there. If we can't forgive ourselves, we are going to find it impossible to forgive anyone else. Judgment and blame of others always grows out of unresolved guilt. Forgive yourself first by accepting your forgiveness from God, and then offer that forgivenss to others.
Living like you were dying cuts through all of these diversions. It's pointless to go to the grave with an unforgiving heart. Dying puts a real crimp in anyone's plans for retribution! Like the cartoon of a gravestone that reads: "Now will you finally believe I was really sick?" there's just no benefit for the dead! You might as well forgive now.
One of the definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13:5 is that "[love] keeps no record of wrongs." It's that simple. Ask God to give you short-term memory loss when it comes to people who have wronged you.
It's the only way to break the cycle of retribution that causes wars in our relationships. Start by receiving your own forgiveness from God. Then settle the issue once and for all against those who have harmed you by forgiving them first in your heart and then, if possible, to their face. Stop being a scorekeeper and throw away your scorecard. An unforgiving heart is an unnecessary tragedy that only hurts the one who possesses it. You have precious little time life. Just let it go.
Reflective Thoughts -
1. Is there something in your life for which you are having a difficult time accepting God's forgiveness?
2. Search your sould and see if there are any grudges toward someone deep in your heart. You may need to spend some time doing this because we train ourselves not to see these things and allow them to eat at us slowly. Ask your closest friend, spouse, or children who they think you need to forgive.
3. If you are holding a grudge against someone, forgive that person in your heart right now -- don't wait another second. God is ready to embrace you in the courageous step. You are not alone. Now make a plan to extend that forgiveness face-to-face if necessary.
"...and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." Those seven words from the song "Live Like You Were Dying" are definitely worth pondering.
What causes us to deny forgiveness?
Revenge. When you have been hurt deeply, the natural human respons is to want the person who hurt you to go through an equal amount of suffering. Even the Old Testament law calls for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It is an equal and fair form of justice, but God's grace works on a different basis entirely. Grace refuses to seek revenge and it forgives. Jesus modeled this for us. 1 Peter 2:23 (NLT) says, "He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."
God knows that if all of us were to receive just payment for our sins that would be the end of the human race, so he has forgiven everyone and asks us to do the same. It's a remarkable turn of events but it's the only way there will be any healing or restoration in broken relationships.
Another reason we might deny forgiveness is that we want to hang on to our hurt because it has become our identity, a ready excuse, a smoke screen that blots out other problems we don't want to face. Consider the beggar in John 5:6 who had been sitting by the healing pool for thirty-seven years when Jesus came up to him and asked him if he wanted to get well. He didn't exactly say a hearty "Yes!" Instead he went into his well-worn excuse -- his catch-22 that no one was there to life him into the pool -- and skirted the question entirely. Some of us have been so identified with our anger and bitterness that we are afraid to let go and forgive. How differently we would live if we refues to use our hurt to gain attention and sympathy.
Or perhaps we deny forgiveness because we have never believed in our own forgiveness. Ture forgiveness begins there. If we can't forgive ourselves, we are going to find it impossible to forgive anyone else. Judgment and blame of others always grows out of unresolved guilt. Forgive yourself first by accepting your forgiveness from God, and then offer that forgivenss to others.
Living like you were dying cuts through all of these diversions. It's pointless to go to the grave with an unforgiving heart. Dying puts a real crimp in anyone's plans for retribution! Like the cartoon of a gravestone that reads: "Now will you finally believe I was really sick?" there's just no benefit for the dead! You might as well forgive now.
One of the definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13:5 is that "[love] keeps no record of wrongs." It's that simple. Ask God to give you short-term memory loss when it comes to people who have wronged you.
It's the only way to break the cycle of retribution that causes wars in our relationships. Start by receiving your own forgiveness from God. Then settle the issue once and for all against those who have harmed you by forgiving them first in your heart and then, if possible, to their face. Stop being a scorekeeper and throw away your scorecard. An unforgiving heart is an unnecessary tragedy that only hurts the one who possesses it. You have precious little time life. Just let it go.
Reflective Thoughts -
1. Is there something in your life for which you are having a difficult time accepting God's forgiveness?
2. Search your sould and see if there are any grudges toward someone deep in your heart. You may need to spend some time doing this because we train ourselves not to see these things and allow them to eat at us slowly. Ask your closest friend, spouse, or children who they think you need to forgive.
3. If you are holding a grudge against someone, forgive that person in your heart right now -- don't wait another second. God is ready to embrace you in the courageous step. You are not alone. Now make a plan to extend that forgiveness face-to-face if necessary.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Overcoming Love
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 3; Day 5
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:7-8)
I bet you didn't know that Peter told us to live like we were dying. Here is what he said about it:
Because the end of all things is near,
1. Be ready to pray
2. Love deeper, and
3. Love in such a way as to overcome the barriers to love.
Sound familiar? Peter would have liked the "Live Like You Were Dying" song. It has all the elements he felt were important to focus on with limited time left.
Are you surprised he put prayer at the top? If you knew the end was near, prayer would seem like a natural thing. You would want to get connected with where you were going. Prayer is eternal. So daily be in a spirit where prayer is a breath away.
And you would want to love those around you deeply, because love give life meaning and connects you to those who are most precious to you. Love is of God and lasts forever. When we get to heaven we will love everybody, so we might as well get started now.
You would also want to love because love overcomes the barriers that keep us from each other. It covers over a multitude of sins.
Sin separates us -- our sins against others, their sins against us. We let each other down. We belittle, judge, gossip, and otherwise destroy one another. But love is so powerful; it can overcome all of that. It covers it over. It buries it. This is not even forgiveness. It is God's love working through us -- a love so great that is can overlook offenses.
There are a lot of things that love does. 1 Corinthians 13 lists many outward expressions. Peter has chosen one aspect of love particularly applicable to the shortness of time. When time is short, you want to set things straight. You don't want to leave this life with unresolved hatred in your heart towards somebody. When my father died, he had everything already taken care of right down to the flowers on the casket. He was meticulous about this. He made sure all his affairs were in order.
In the same way, when you live like you were dying, you want to have all your relationships straightened out and in order, at least on your end. We have no control over how others feel about us, but we can love them, and do so enough to absorb however they have harmed or offended us. Love makes up for all offenses.
"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)
Reflection thoughts -
1. Is there a relationship where you need to apply this kind of love? Is there any reason why you can't love this way? Ask God to help you. He is the author of this love.
2. Covering over wrongs done to us means we have to let go of them. This can be difficult because it means letting go of our pride, but we need to do it. Pray for God's ability to truly forgive those who have wronged you.
3. Spend a few moments right now thanking God that his love has covered over all your sins.
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:7-8)
I bet you didn't know that Peter told us to live like we were dying. Here is what he said about it:
Because the end of all things is near,
1. Be ready to pray
2. Love deeper, and
3. Love in such a way as to overcome the barriers to love.
Sound familiar? Peter would have liked the "Live Like You Were Dying" song. It has all the elements he felt were important to focus on with limited time left.
Are you surprised he put prayer at the top? If you knew the end was near, prayer would seem like a natural thing. You would want to get connected with where you were going. Prayer is eternal. So daily be in a spirit where prayer is a breath away.
And you would want to love those around you deeply, because love give life meaning and connects you to those who are most precious to you. Love is of God and lasts forever. When we get to heaven we will love everybody, so we might as well get started now.
You would also want to love because love overcomes the barriers that keep us from each other. It covers over a multitude of sins.
Sin separates us -- our sins against others, their sins against us. We let each other down. We belittle, judge, gossip, and otherwise destroy one another. But love is so powerful; it can overcome all of that. It covers it over. It buries it. This is not even forgiveness. It is God's love working through us -- a love so great that is can overlook offenses.
There are a lot of things that love does. 1 Corinthians 13 lists many outward expressions. Peter has chosen one aspect of love particularly applicable to the shortness of time. When time is short, you want to set things straight. You don't want to leave this life with unresolved hatred in your heart towards somebody. When my father died, he had everything already taken care of right down to the flowers on the casket. He was meticulous about this. He made sure all his affairs were in order.
In the same way, when you live like you were dying, you want to have all your relationships straightened out and in order, at least on your end. We have no control over how others feel about us, but we can love them, and do so enough to absorb however they have harmed or offended us. Love makes up for all offenses.
"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)
Reflection thoughts -
1. Is there a relationship where you need to apply this kind of love? Is there any reason why you can't love this way? Ask God to help you. He is the author of this love.
2. Covering over wrongs done to us means we have to let go of them. This can be difficult because it means letting go of our pride, but we need to do it. Pray for God's ability to truly forgive those who have wronged you.
3. Spend a few moments right now thanking God that his love has covered over all your sins.
Risky Love
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week
3; Day 4
“She would go to church if she felt like she would be
accepted, but her sense of shame keeps her back. She’s gotten as close as the parking lot, but
cannot gather enough courage to get out of her car. How will she explain this aborted trip to
three anxious kids after talking them into coming? She doesn’t know, but she decides that will
be easier than explaining why she doesn’t have a husband to all those happy Christian
families she supposes are inside.
Then the memories of the church women’s retreat someone
convinced her to attend come rushing back to her. All of the teaching and discussion had been
about marriage. Most of the jokes were
about everyone’s husbands stuck at home with the kids. She did not find this funny. She would have taken any of their husbands
for even a day of relief and role modeling for her fatherless sons. A new relationship with one of these women
would have made the weekend worthwhile, but no one sought her out or made any
attempt to follow up. They were all too
caught up in the similarities of their own lives and shared experiences.
Unfortunately, this is a scene played out in all too many
churches that have not learned to care for those at risk in their body. Jesus said, “If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that
much. If you are kind only to your
friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.” (Matthew 5:46-47 NLT)
Or to put it another way:
If you only love those who are just like you, you are acting like a
country club and not a church.
One of the surest ways love can be recognized in the body of
Christ is the degree to which love is extended towards those who may not able
to give anything back, at least not right away.
Many of these people stay away due to guilt and a sense of condemnation. The initial challenge is to help them know
they are welcome.
One way to do this is through acts of kindness or love in
action, such as advertising free services to single moms (or whatever group you
might agree to target) – car tune ups, house repairs, yard work, babysitting –
no questions asked. It’s all about being
sensitive to those outside our norm. We
picked single moms so we could go a little deeper with this, but the same
applies to pregnant girls, the physically and mentally challenged, kids on
drugs, single dads, seniors living along, recovering addicts, and the list goes
on. This is both risky love (outside of
our comfort zone) and loving those at risk.
The hope is that new and accepting relationships can naturally flow out
of these acts of kindness so that some of these people will get farther than
just the parking lot.
It’s time to love deeper.
That deeper love will be risky, but only then will it get beyond what
tax collectors and pagans do."
Reflective Thoughts –
1. Reread paragraph
2. To what extent can we create pain in
others without even noticing it? How can
we become more sensitive to those with different life experiences than our own?
2. Come up with a
game plan to put love into action. How
can you enlist the support of others in the church to do this? Be sure you treat those you reach out to with
dignity. One of the best ways to do this
is to listen to their story. Make sure
they feel like a friend with something to offer. The last thing anyone needs is to be
patronized.
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