Taken from the Live Like You Were Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 5
As we come to the end of this 30-day journey, we conclude with some thoughts from a young man whose life, even at only twenty years, resonates with the source of our study.
Michael Simon believes that the song, "Live Like You Were Dying" is sort of a theme song for him. "I grab life by the horns and dont let go -- seizing the day and squeezing the life out of it for all it is worth. Because of my mother's nine-year battle with breast cancer, I don't really take time for granted. I don't leave questions unasked and don't hesitate to express love in any form."
Here is a young man who has lived for the last nine years considering each day in the company of his mother to be his last. Three things he brings up here are significant conclusions for our study.
1. Make the most of every moment. It may be the last.
As we have seen, times is a precious commodity. Michael realizes that and spends it wisely and passionately. He is acutely aware of time passiing, and each new day he has with his mother is a blessing. And this has been going on for nine years! His example gives a realistic picture of what living like you were dying can actually do for you. It puts you in a state of suspended animation that forces you to not take anything for granted but to be thankful in all things. It is like a "time alert" that steps up all areas of alertness.
Jesus spoke of this mindset in Marks 13:33 when he said of his return: "Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come." He is telling us to live each day as if it were our last.
2. Live with no regrets - no unfinished business.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14).
Michael doesn't look back. What has happened has happened. He is more concerned with discovering the "what now's" of the present and the future than he is the "why's" of the past. He doesn't leave anything unasked, and I have a feeling he's not waiting around for the answer, either. Answers come to those who seek. Michael has no regrets because he knows everything that happens, happens for a reason, and his life is all about wrestling those reasons out of his experiences.
3. Love with urgency
Michael doesn't hesitate to express love in any form. I would take this to mean that he shares his love for his mom in words, in deeds, in remembering what is important to her, in sending her notes and reminders of his love, in listening when she needs to talk, and being silent when the last thing she needs is someone giving her advice. Maybe he takes her to places she loves where she can do what she loves to do.
And here's the final word and it's very important. Michael lives this way in relation to his mother, but everyone else in his life gets the benefit, because this intensity spills over into all of his other relationships and responsibilities as well. because of her, he takes nothing for granted. Can you say the same?
Reflective Thoughts ...
1. What have you learned as a result of this study? How would you like to live differently as a result of these last thirty days?
2. As we conclude this study, ask God to put you on a time alert -- to view life in slow motion so as to appreciate every moment for what it is.
3. Commit yourself to continuing to meet with your group or even one other person weekly to remind each other to live like you were dying. It's only as you actually face this possibility together that you can benefit from its perspective.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Making Peace
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 4
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
The difference between these views has huge implications on forgiveness.
An alumnus of Virginia Tech reported it was clear that those who planned an on-campus memorial to the victims intended to mourn the death of thirty-three people by puttong out as many stories in memory of each life.
"Memorabilia was left at each stone for the respective persons," he wrote, "even the shooter. So many artifacts were left at each stone that most of it has been moved inside. There was a table each of those killed including Seung-Hui Cho, the shooter. On his table one item that touched me was a simple 3 x 5 card with the words 'I forgive you' on it and no signature -- almost as if God had left it there for him. His table was full of as many artifacts as anyone, most of which reflected this feeling of forgiveness."
This is an extraordinary inclusion. Those who advocate such quick forgiveness must know that the alternative is to seethe with anger, resentment, and bitterness that can eat away a person's insides and render one incapable of kindess or grace. To refuse to give forgiveness is to become, yourself, a victim of another's crime. Those who refuse to forgive the shooter are perpetuating the control of his act over them. By forgiving, you take away that person's power over you. You turn things back over to God and trust him for justice to be done more wisely than you or I could ever determine it. There is no healing of wrongs done to us apart from forgiveness.
If Christ can forgive all of us for crucifying him with our sins, what crime is so great that we can't forgive someone who has sinned against us (a sin already forgiven by the cross)?
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
Reflective thoughts -
1. Read carefully the account of Jesus' death in Luke 23:26-49. Reflect on what Christ has to endure so you could be forgiven.
2. What can you learn from these students at Virgina Tech that is applicable to your life?
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
The difference between these views has huge implications on forgiveness.
An alumnus of Virginia Tech reported it was clear that those who planned an on-campus memorial to the victims intended to mourn the death of thirty-three people by puttong out as many stories in memory of each life.
"Memorabilia was left at each stone for the respective persons," he wrote, "even the shooter. So many artifacts were left at each stone that most of it has been moved inside. There was a table each of those killed including Seung-Hui Cho, the shooter. On his table one item that touched me was a simple 3 x 5 card with the words 'I forgive you' on it and no signature -- almost as if God had left it there for him. His table was full of as many artifacts as anyone, most of which reflected this feeling of forgiveness."
This is an extraordinary inclusion. Those who advocate such quick forgiveness must know that the alternative is to seethe with anger, resentment, and bitterness that can eat away a person's insides and render one incapable of kindess or grace. To refuse to give forgiveness is to become, yourself, a victim of another's crime. Those who refuse to forgive the shooter are perpetuating the control of his act over them. By forgiving, you take away that person's power over you. You turn things back over to God and trust him for justice to be done more wisely than you or I could ever determine it. There is no healing of wrongs done to us apart from forgiveness.
If Christ can forgive all of us for crucifying him with our sins, what crime is so great that we can't forgive someone who has sinned against us (a sin already forgiven by the cross)?
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
Reflective thoughts -
1. Read carefully the account of Jesus' death in Luke 23:26-49. Reflect on what Christ has to endure so you could be forgiven.
2. What can you learn from these students at Virgina Tech that is applicable to your life?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The Power of Forgiveness
Taken for the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 3
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
These familiar words in Christ were uttered from the cross about the people who were in the act of crucifying him on false charges. It's hard to imagine a more demanding circumstance for forgiveness to be offered. It is the ultimate example of forgiveness, and it was extended to us in that we all participated in his death via our sins. It is a high standard indeed that Christ set.
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
Funeral and memorial services are sometimes tough on family members. At a loved one's death, we rejoice in the hope of heaven, but we also feel our own mortality more than ever.
We wonder if we have sufficientely said our peace. Have grudges been resolved and disappointments been forgiven? Could we have done something to shave the distance that still existed between us? A helplessness sets in as the end nears.
But there is also a warm, enveloping blanket of God's grace over this all. We feel our own mortality, see someone else's, and yet somehow there is an ability to accept, as the Serenity Prayer has it, "what we cannot change."
The only regret we may have is: Why didn't we come to this realization sooner? Why do we have to be near the end before we can let go? We apply God's grace and forgiveness at the end because we don't have a choice; we need to learn how to do this while we do have a choice.
Forgiveness is all about letting go. Those who don't forgive are the ones who find themselves mired in their own hostility and blame, headed toward becoming the very thing they hate. We think we are setting the other person free by forgiving, but we are really doing ourselves the biggest favor. Forgivess becomes for us a sigh of relief -- a newfound freedom.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, and popularized through Alcoholics Anonymous movement, is a fitting prayer for living like you were dying.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Part of what we cannot change is what others have done to us. Part of what we can change is to forgive them and release them from our judgment. It takes courage, but we have to forgive in order to be at peace with others and ourselves. We can forgive. We can let it go. And the sooner we do this, the better. Don't wait until someone's deathbed, or your own.
Many people do not realize that the Serenity Prayer doesn't end there. The rest of this prayer may not be as well known as the first four line, but it is well suited for our study.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be resonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
This is the essence of forgiveness: surrender of our expectations, our rights, and our pride to God's will; giving him control in our lives and trusting that he has our best in mind in all circumstances.
Some of you are trapped in the hold of particularly helpless form of unforgiveness, because the person you are unwilling to forgive is no longer alive. You can't find peace, because you can't go to them, nor can they release you. But God can release you, in fact he already has. All that remains is for you to believe him and let go. So let it go, and step into the freedom of God's forgivenss, both for you and for the person you need to forgive. It's your choice now.
Reflective thoughts:
1. When was the last time you lost a relative, friend, or neighbor? Were you on good terms? Were you close? Could you have been closer? What were your regrets? Now take those regrets and apply the lesson learned to someon who is alive. Determine a plan of action for that person.
2. Is there someone with whom you have having a conflict? If that person were dying, would you go to them? What would you say?
3. Are you unable to forgive someone who has passed on? Even though they are gone, it can be helpful to write that person a letter, and set them and yourself free.
"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
These familiar words in Christ were uttered from the cross about the people who were in the act of crucifying him on false charges. It's hard to imagine a more demanding circumstance for forgiveness to be offered. It is the ultimate example of forgiveness, and it was extended to us in that we all participated in his death via our sins. It is a high standard indeed that Christ set.
A current expression of unusual forgiveness from a human standpoint was set in motion on April 16, 2007, when a twenty-three-year-old Virginia Tech student coldly and methodically took the lives of thirty-two of his classmates before turning the gun on himself and ending his own lonely, tragic life. As the events were reported and interpreted, conflicting opinions surfaced about how many died that day. Was it thirty-two, or thirty-three? Those who say thirty-two refuse to place any value on the life of someone who would do such a thing. He was an animal or a demon -- short of being human -- and unworthy of being given the same values as the lives he took. Those who say thirty-three saw the shooter as a person with value as well, a deeply disturbed person with no friends but still created in the image of God.
Funeral and memorial services are sometimes tough on family members. At a loved one's death, we rejoice in the hope of heaven, but we also feel our own mortality more than ever.
We wonder if we have sufficientely said our peace. Have grudges been resolved and disappointments been forgiven? Could we have done something to shave the distance that still existed between us? A helplessness sets in as the end nears.
But there is also a warm, enveloping blanket of God's grace over this all. We feel our own mortality, see someone else's, and yet somehow there is an ability to accept, as the Serenity Prayer has it, "what we cannot change."
The only regret we may have is: Why didn't we come to this realization sooner? Why do we have to be near the end before we can let go? We apply God's grace and forgiveness at the end because we don't have a choice; we need to learn how to do this while we do have a choice.
Forgiveness is all about letting go. Those who don't forgive are the ones who find themselves mired in their own hostility and blame, headed toward becoming the very thing they hate. We think we are setting the other person free by forgiving, but we are really doing ourselves the biggest favor. Forgivess becomes for us a sigh of relief -- a newfound freedom.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, and popularized through Alcoholics Anonymous movement, is a fitting prayer for living like you were dying.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Part of what we cannot change is what others have done to us. Part of what we can change is to forgive them and release them from our judgment. It takes courage, but we have to forgive in order to be at peace with others and ourselves. We can forgive. We can let it go. And the sooner we do this, the better. Don't wait until someone's deathbed, or your own.
Many people do not realize that the Serenity Prayer doesn't end there. The rest of this prayer may not be as well known as the first four line, but it is well suited for our study.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be resonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
This is the essence of forgiveness: surrender of our expectations, our rights, and our pride to God's will; giving him control in our lives and trusting that he has our best in mind in all circumstances.
Some of you are trapped in the hold of particularly helpless form of unforgiveness, because the person you are unwilling to forgive is no longer alive. You can't find peace, because you can't go to them, nor can they release you. But God can release you, in fact he already has. All that remains is for you to believe him and let go. So let it go, and step into the freedom of God's forgivenss, both for you and for the person you need to forgive. It's your choice now.
Reflective thoughts:
1. When was the last time you lost a relative, friend, or neighbor? Were you on good terms? Were you close? Could you have been closer? What were your regrets? Now take those regrets and apply the lesson learned to someon who is alive. Determine a plan of action for that person.
2. Is there someone with whom you have having a conflict? If that person were dying, would you go to them? What would you say?
3. Are you unable to forgive someone who has passed on? Even though they are gone, it can be helpful to write that person a letter, and set them and yourself free.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Why Not Forgive
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Reading Journal ... Week 4; Day 2
"What do we think we are gaining by not forgiving someone? Have you ever thought about that? Being unforgiving is something of which we're not very conscious; it's a natural human reaction to being hurt. That's probably because, if we actually thought through what we were doing, we would see how useless it is. However, today let's think about it.
The main reason we withhold forgiveness is most often a desire for justice, which isn't entirely wrong. Justice is good and right, but not in our hands. Only God can judge fairly and impartially. Yet someone needs to pay for wrongs done, and we think that by not forgiving someone we are evening the score. If someone has hurt us, we believe our refusal to forgive is a way of hurting that person back -- letting the offender know just how serious an offense they have committed. We might even think we are giving God a helping hand with justice. To forgive would be to "let them off the hook," when what we really want to do is inflict upon them something of the pain they have caused us.
But think a little further about this. What do we actually accomplish by refusing to forgive? Usually not what we seek. Payment extracted is rarely equal to the crime. We damage ourselves far more in this process than we do anyone else. We think we are making a big impact by not forgiving someone when, in fact, we are only carrying on our own private vendetta in our heads. Hold a grudge and so what? Everyone's lives move on -- everyone, that is except our own. That is how it goes when we deny forgiveness: we try to punich someone, but in reality, we are the ones who remain in prison.
If justice is the big deal (and it is) we are not good disseminators of it. Here's what the Bible says about this: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19).
Justice will be done, but not by our hand. In fact, we don't want to have anything to do with this business, because if we do, we are placing ourselves under God's judgment as well.
Which do you want for yourself: God's justice, or God's mercy? I can't think, given this choice, why anyone in his right mind would choose God's justice; and yet, when we judge someone else, this is what we are doing. We are announcing to God that we are choosing that we are choosing justice over mercy.
On the other hand, if we want mercy, then that is what we must give. We can't have it both ways. We can't have mercy for ourselves, and justice for all the people we don't like.
So "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Reflective thoughts -
1. Think about a time when you were denying forgiveness to someone. Sometimes unforgiveness disguises itself. Search your heart. Is there bitterness, cynicism, or distrust? Seriously consider this question, "How has my lack of forgiveness impacted my life?"
2. This week, be a peacemaker. Don't be so easily offended. Don't cling so tightly to your rights. Be a little more understanding and see if anyone notices.
"What do we think we are gaining by not forgiving someone? Have you ever thought about that? Being unforgiving is something of which we're not very conscious; it's a natural human reaction to being hurt. That's probably because, if we actually thought through what we were doing, we would see how useless it is. However, today let's think about it.
The main reason we withhold forgiveness is most often a desire for justice, which isn't entirely wrong. Justice is good and right, but not in our hands. Only God can judge fairly and impartially. Yet someone needs to pay for wrongs done, and we think that by not forgiving someone we are evening the score. If someone has hurt us, we believe our refusal to forgive is a way of hurting that person back -- letting the offender know just how serious an offense they have committed. We might even think we are giving God a helping hand with justice. To forgive would be to "let them off the hook," when what we really want to do is inflict upon them something of the pain they have caused us.
But think a little further about this. What do we actually accomplish by refusing to forgive? Usually not what we seek. Payment extracted is rarely equal to the crime. We damage ourselves far more in this process than we do anyone else. We think we are making a big impact by not forgiving someone when, in fact, we are only carrying on our own private vendetta in our heads. Hold a grudge and so what? Everyone's lives move on -- everyone, that is except our own. That is how it goes when we deny forgiveness: we try to punich someone, but in reality, we are the ones who remain in prison.
If justice is the big deal (and it is) we are not good disseminators of it. Here's what the Bible says about this: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19).
Justice will be done, but not by our hand. In fact, we don't want to have anything to do with this business, because if we do, we are placing ourselves under God's judgment as well.
Which do you want for yourself: God's justice, or God's mercy? I can't think, given this choice, why anyone in his right mind would choose God's justice; and yet, when we judge someone else, this is what we are doing. We are announcing to God that we are choosing that we are choosing justice over mercy.
On the other hand, if we want mercy, then that is what we must give. We can't have it both ways. We can't have mercy for ourselves, and justice for all the people we don't like.
So "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Reflective thoughts -
1. Think about a time when you were denying forgiveness to someone. Sometimes unforgiveness disguises itself. Search your heart. Is there bitterness, cynicism, or distrust? Seriously consider this question, "How has my lack of forgiveness impacted my life?"
2. This week, be a peacemaker. Don't be so easily offended. Don't cling so tightly to your rights. Be a little more understanding and see if anyone notices.
Monday, May 14, 2012
No Record of Wrongs
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 4; Day 1
"...and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." Those seven words from the song "Live Like You Were Dying" are definitely worth pondering.
What causes us to deny forgiveness?
Revenge. When you have been hurt deeply, the natural human respons is to want the person who hurt you to go through an equal amount of suffering. Even the Old Testament law calls for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It is an equal and fair form of justice, but God's grace works on a different basis entirely. Grace refuses to seek revenge and it forgives. Jesus modeled this for us. 1 Peter 2:23 (NLT) says, "He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."
God knows that if all of us were to receive just payment for our sins that would be the end of the human race, so he has forgiven everyone and asks us to do the same. It's a remarkable turn of events but it's the only way there will be any healing or restoration in broken relationships.
Another reason we might deny forgiveness is that we want to hang on to our hurt because it has become our identity, a ready excuse, a smoke screen that blots out other problems we don't want to face. Consider the beggar in John 5:6 who had been sitting by the healing pool for thirty-seven years when Jesus came up to him and asked him if he wanted to get well. He didn't exactly say a hearty "Yes!" Instead he went into his well-worn excuse -- his catch-22 that no one was there to life him into the pool -- and skirted the question entirely. Some of us have been so identified with our anger and bitterness that we are afraid to let go and forgive. How differently we would live if we refues to use our hurt to gain attention and sympathy.
Or perhaps we deny forgiveness because we have never believed in our own forgiveness. Ture forgiveness begins there. If we can't forgive ourselves, we are going to find it impossible to forgive anyone else. Judgment and blame of others always grows out of unresolved guilt. Forgive yourself first by accepting your forgiveness from God, and then offer that forgivenss to others.
Living like you were dying cuts through all of these diversions. It's pointless to go to the grave with an unforgiving heart. Dying puts a real crimp in anyone's plans for retribution! Like the cartoon of a gravestone that reads: "Now will you finally believe I was really sick?" there's just no benefit for the dead! You might as well forgive now.
One of the definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13:5 is that "[love] keeps no record of wrongs." It's that simple. Ask God to give you short-term memory loss when it comes to people who have wronged you.
It's the only way to break the cycle of retribution that causes wars in our relationships. Start by receiving your own forgiveness from God. Then settle the issue once and for all against those who have harmed you by forgiving them first in your heart and then, if possible, to their face. Stop being a scorekeeper and throw away your scorecard. An unforgiving heart is an unnecessary tragedy that only hurts the one who possesses it. You have precious little time life. Just let it go.
Reflective Thoughts -
1. Is there something in your life for which you are having a difficult time accepting God's forgiveness?
2. Search your sould and see if there are any grudges toward someone deep in your heart. You may need to spend some time doing this because we train ourselves not to see these things and allow them to eat at us slowly. Ask your closest friend, spouse, or children who they think you need to forgive.
3. If you are holding a grudge against someone, forgive that person in your heart right now -- don't wait another second. God is ready to embrace you in the courageous step. You are not alone. Now make a plan to extend that forgiveness face-to-face if necessary.
"...and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." Those seven words from the song "Live Like You Were Dying" are definitely worth pondering.
What causes us to deny forgiveness?
Revenge. When you have been hurt deeply, the natural human respons is to want the person who hurt you to go through an equal amount of suffering. Even the Old Testament law calls for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It is an equal and fair form of justice, but God's grace works on a different basis entirely. Grace refuses to seek revenge and it forgives. Jesus modeled this for us. 1 Peter 2:23 (NLT) says, "He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."
God knows that if all of us were to receive just payment for our sins that would be the end of the human race, so he has forgiven everyone and asks us to do the same. It's a remarkable turn of events but it's the only way there will be any healing or restoration in broken relationships.
Another reason we might deny forgiveness is that we want to hang on to our hurt because it has become our identity, a ready excuse, a smoke screen that blots out other problems we don't want to face. Consider the beggar in John 5:6 who had been sitting by the healing pool for thirty-seven years when Jesus came up to him and asked him if he wanted to get well. He didn't exactly say a hearty "Yes!" Instead he went into his well-worn excuse -- his catch-22 that no one was there to life him into the pool -- and skirted the question entirely. Some of us have been so identified with our anger and bitterness that we are afraid to let go and forgive. How differently we would live if we refues to use our hurt to gain attention and sympathy.
Or perhaps we deny forgiveness because we have never believed in our own forgiveness. Ture forgiveness begins there. If we can't forgive ourselves, we are going to find it impossible to forgive anyone else. Judgment and blame of others always grows out of unresolved guilt. Forgive yourself first by accepting your forgiveness from God, and then offer that forgivenss to others.
Living like you were dying cuts through all of these diversions. It's pointless to go to the grave with an unforgiving heart. Dying puts a real crimp in anyone's plans for retribution! Like the cartoon of a gravestone that reads: "Now will you finally believe I was really sick?" there's just no benefit for the dead! You might as well forgive now.
One of the definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13:5 is that "[love] keeps no record of wrongs." It's that simple. Ask God to give you short-term memory loss when it comes to people who have wronged you.
It's the only way to break the cycle of retribution that causes wars in our relationships. Start by receiving your own forgiveness from God. Then settle the issue once and for all against those who have harmed you by forgiving them first in your heart and then, if possible, to their face. Stop being a scorekeeper and throw away your scorecard. An unforgiving heart is an unnecessary tragedy that only hurts the one who possesses it. You have precious little time life. Just let it go.
Reflective Thoughts -
1. Is there something in your life for which you are having a difficult time accepting God's forgiveness?
2. Search your sould and see if there are any grudges toward someone deep in your heart. You may need to spend some time doing this because we train ourselves not to see these things and allow them to eat at us slowly. Ask your closest friend, spouse, or children who they think you need to forgive.
3. If you are holding a grudge against someone, forgive that person in your heart right now -- don't wait another second. God is ready to embrace you in the courageous step. You are not alone. Now make a plan to extend that forgiveness face-to-face if necessary.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Overcoming Love
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 3; Day 5
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:7-8)
I bet you didn't know that Peter told us to live like we were dying. Here is what he said about it:
Because the end of all things is near,
1. Be ready to pray
2. Love deeper, and
3. Love in such a way as to overcome the barriers to love.
Sound familiar? Peter would have liked the "Live Like You Were Dying" song. It has all the elements he felt were important to focus on with limited time left.
Are you surprised he put prayer at the top? If you knew the end was near, prayer would seem like a natural thing. You would want to get connected with where you were going. Prayer is eternal. So daily be in a spirit where prayer is a breath away.
And you would want to love those around you deeply, because love give life meaning and connects you to those who are most precious to you. Love is of God and lasts forever. When we get to heaven we will love everybody, so we might as well get started now.
You would also want to love because love overcomes the barriers that keep us from each other. It covers over a multitude of sins.
Sin separates us -- our sins against others, their sins against us. We let each other down. We belittle, judge, gossip, and otherwise destroy one another. But love is so powerful; it can overcome all of that. It covers it over. It buries it. This is not even forgiveness. It is God's love working through us -- a love so great that is can overlook offenses.
There are a lot of things that love does. 1 Corinthians 13 lists many outward expressions. Peter has chosen one aspect of love particularly applicable to the shortness of time. When time is short, you want to set things straight. You don't want to leave this life with unresolved hatred in your heart towards somebody. When my father died, he had everything already taken care of right down to the flowers on the casket. He was meticulous about this. He made sure all his affairs were in order.
In the same way, when you live like you were dying, you want to have all your relationships straightened out and in order, at least on your end. We have no control over how others feel about us, but we can love them, and do so enough to absorb however they have harmed or offended us. Love makes up for all offenses.
"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)
Reflection thoughts -
1. Is there a relationship where you need to apply this kind of love? Is there any reason why you can't love this way? Ask God to help you. He is the author of this love.
2. Covering over wrongs done to us means we have to let go of them. This can be difficult because it means letting go of our pride, but we need to do it. Pray for God's ability to truly forgive those who have wronged you.
3. Spend a few moments right now thanking God that his love has covered over all your sins.
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:7-8)
I bet you didn't know that Peter told us to live like we were dying. Here is what he said about it:
Because the end of all things is near,
1. Be ready to pray
2. Love deeper, and
3. Love in such a way as to overcome the barriers to love.
Sound familiar? Peter would have liked the "Live Like You Were Dying" song. It has all the elements he felt were important to focus on with limited time left.
Are you surprised he put prayer at the top? If you knew the end was near, prayer would seem like a natural thing. You would want to get connected with where you were going. Prayer is eternal. So daily be in a spirit where prayer is a breath away.
And you would want to love those around you deeply, because love give life meaning and connects you to those who are most precious to you. Love is of God and lasts forever. When we get to heaven we will love everybody, so we might as well get started now.
You would also want to love because love overcomes the barriers that keep us from each other. It covers over a multitude of sins.
Sin separates us -- our sins against others, their sins against us. We let each other down. We belittle, judge, gossip, and otherwise destroy one another. But love is so powerful; it can overcome all of that. It covers it over. It buries it. This is not even forgiveness. It is God's love working through us -- a love so great that is can overlook offenses.
There are a lot of things that love does. 1 Corinthians 13 lists many outward expressions. Peter has chosen one aspect of love particularly applicable to the shortness of time. When time is short, you want to set things straight. You don't want to leave this life with unresolved hatred in your heart towards somebody. When my father died, he had everything already taken care of right down to the flowers on the casket. He was meticulous about this. He made sure all his affairs were in order.
In the same way, when you live like you were dying, you want to have all your relationships straightened out and in order, at least on your end. We have no control over how others feel about us, but we can love them, and do so enough to absorb however they have harmed or offended us. Love makes up for all offenses.
"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)
Reflection thoughts -
1. Is there a relationship where you need to apply this kind of love? Is there any reason why you can't love this way? Ask God to help you. He is the author of this love.
2. Covering over wrongs done to us means we have to let go of them. This can be difficult because it means letting go of our pride, but we need to do it. Pray for God's ability to truly forgive those who have wronged you.
3. Spend a few moments right now thanking God that his love has covered over all your sins.
Risky Love
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week
3; Day 4
“She would go to church if she felt like she would be
accepted, but her sense of shame keeps her back. She’s gotten as close as the parking lot, but
cannot gather enough courage to get out of her car. How will she explain this aborted trip to
three anxious kids after talking them into coming? She doesn’t know, but she decides that will
be easier than explaining why she doesn’t have a husband to all those happy Christian
families she supposes are inside.
Then the memories of the church women’s retreat someone
convinced her to attend come rushing back to her. All of the teaching and discussion had been
about marriage. Most of the jokes were
about everyone’s husbands stuck at home with the kids. She did not find this funny. She would have taken any of their husbands
for even a day of relief and role modeling for her fatherless sons. A new relationship with one of these women
would have made the weekend worthwhile, but no one sought her out or made any
attempt to follow up. They were all too
caught up in the similarities of their own lives and shared experiences.
Unfortunately, this is a scene played out in all too many
churches that have not learned to care for those at risk in their body. Jesus said, “If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that
much. If you are kind only to your
friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.” (Matthew 5:46-47 NLT)
Or to put it another way:
If you only love those who are just like you, you are acting like a
country club and not a church.
One of the surest ways love can be recognized in the body of
Christ is the degree to which love is extended towards those who may not able
to give anything back, at least not right away.
Many of these people stay away due to guilt and a sense of condemnation. The initial challenge is to help them know
they are welcome.
One way to do this is through acts of kindness or love in
action, such as advertising free services to single moms (or whatever group you
might agree to target) – car tune ups, house repairs, yard work, babysitting –
no questions asked. It’s all about being
sensitive to those outside our norm. We
picked single moms so we could go a little deeper with this, but the same
applies to pregnant girls, the physically and mentally challenged, kids on
drugs, single dads, seniors living along, recovering addicts, and the list goes
on. This is both risky love (outside of
our comfort zone) and loving those at risk.
The hope is that new and accepting relationships can naturally flow out
of these acts of kindness so that some of these people will get farther than
just the parking lot.
It’s time to love deeper.
That deeper love will be risky, but only then will it get beyond what
tax collectors and pagans do."
Reflective Thoughts –
1. Reread paragraph
2. To what extent can we create pain in
others without even noticing it? How can
we become more sensitive to those with different life experiences than our own?
2. Come up with a
game plan to put love into action. How
can you enlist the support of others in the church to do this? Be sure you treat those you reach out to with
dignity. One of the best ways to do this
is to listen to their story. Make sure
they feel like a friend with something to offer. The last thing anyone needs is to be
patronized.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Roses On Wednesday
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings ... Week 3; Day 3
The first roses came on a Wednesday when Horton came back into Edna's live after leaving for a season. He showed up at her doorstep with a dozen roses and his issues resolved, and in her words, "We embraced, and it was all over."
So began the story of a remarkable marriage - average perhaps to most who knew them casually, but remarkable to anyone privileged to get a closer look. For what one found on the inside observing this could even after 40+ years of marriage was a man supremely delighted with his wife, and a woman supremely happy in the love of her husband. Had this couple found out they had only one more day together, I honestly don't think much would have changed because they were already living love for each other to the limit.
When I asked Horton if there was a secret to their relationship, he told me the story that has come to be known in my house as "Roses on Wednesday." Yes see the roses weren't only for that first Wednesday. They would continue to come every Wednesday for the rest of their lives together.
When it became clear that there was something special about Wednesdays, Edna asked him why. He told her that Wednesday with her was not just a day to get you one day closer to the weekend; it was simply, a phenomenal day.
King Solomon gave us a similar piece of advice. "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Proverbs 5:18 NLT).
Horton's secret was to take an ordinary day and use it to express extraordinary love. And, likewise, Proverbs 5 says that we husbands have a choice to see and treat our wives as a fountain of blessing. Regardless of the circumstances, I can choose to rejoice in the wife of my youth.
Husbands, remember when you first laid eyes on your wife -- how beautiful she was? It started with us, and so it continues. Happy wives have husbands who keep seeing them as beautiful. And one tangible way to communicate that is to make Wednesday a phenomenal day: It doesn't have to be a dozen roses. One works just as well. And if roses don't work for you, find out what does. Vary it from week to week. Believe me, it's a simple gesture with magical results.
And for those of you who aren't married, keep this as an example for when you are. And in the meantime, do something thoughtful and extraordinary for someone you love. Don't be afraid to be extravagant. After all, you never know when will be your last opportunity to bring roses on Wednesday.
Follow Horton's example and you will already be living like you were dying, because you will be demonstrating your love on a regular basis.
Reflection Questions:
1. When did someone surprise you with extraordinary and extravagant love?
2. Okay guys, here's the truth: If you want to take this on as a habit, it doesn't matter that everyone in your church, including your wife, has now been exposed to this concept. She will still see what you do as something special, unique and full of surprise. Guaranteed. So get creative. Then, pick you day and method ... and just do it.
The first roses came on a Wednesday when Horton came back into Edna's live after leaving for a season. He showed up at her doorstep with a dozen roses and his issues resolved, and in her words, "We embraced, and it was all over."
So began the story of a remarkable marriage - average perhaps to most who knew them casually, but remarkable to anyone privileged to get a closer look. For what one found on the inside observing this could even after 40+ years of marriage was a man supremely delighted with his wife, and a woman supremely happy in the love of her husband. Had this couple found out they had only one more day together, I honestly don't think much would have changed because they were already living love for each other to the limit.
When I asked Horton if there was a secret to their relationship, he told me the story that has come to be known in my house as "Roses on Wednesday." Yes see the roses weren't only for that first Wednesday. They would continue to come every Wednesday for the rest of their lives together.
When it became clear that there was something special about Wednesdays, Edna asked him why. He told her that Wednesday with her was not just a day to get you one day closer to the weekend; it was simply, a phenomenal day.
King Solomon gave us a similar piece of advice. "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Proverbs 5:18 NLT).
Horton's secret was to take an ordinary day and use it to express extraordinary love. And, likewise, Proverbs 5 says that we husbands have a choice to see and treat our wives as a fountain of blessing. Regardless of the circumstances, I can choose to rejoice in the wife of my youth.
Husbands, remember when you first laid eyes on your wife -- how beautiful she was? It started with us, and so it continues. Happy wives have husbands who keep seeing them as beautiful. And one tangible way to communicate that is to make Wednesday a phenomenal day: It doesn't have to be a dozen roses. One works just as well. And if roses don't work for you, find out what does. Vary it from week to week. Believe me, it's a simple gesture with magical results.
And for those of you who aren't married, keep this as an example for when you are. And in the meantime, do something thoughtful and extraordinary for someone you love. Don't be afraid to be extravagant. After all, you never know when will be your last opportunity to bring roses on Wednesday.
Follow Horton's example and you will already be living like you were dying, because you will be demonstrating your love on a regular basis.
Reflection Questions:
1. When did someone surprise you with extraordinary and extravagant love?
2. Okay guys, here's the truth: If you want to take this on as a habit, it doesn't matter that everyone in your church, including your wife, has now been exposed to this concept. She will still see what you do as something special, unique and full of surprise. Guaranteed. So get creative. Then, pick you day and method ... and just do it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Love In Any Language
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week 3; Day 2
“Je t’aime.”
“Ich liebe dich.”
“Ti amo.”
“Mimi nakupenda.”
“Techihhila.”
“Nanun tongshinum sarang hamnida.”
Recognize any of these? They all say the same thing in French, German, Italian, Swahili, Sioux, and Korean. They are the most important words you would want to speak if you were going to speak sweeter and you had a limited amount of time to do it. You know what they are. They are the words, “I love you” – the most important words in any language, and yet sometimes, the hardest to say.
In our family, when we say our goodbyes over the phone to each other we always say, “I love you.” It’s standard procedure and sometimes feel a little dorky (especially to my kids when they are around their friends) but if you knew your condition was terminal you would not want to shortchange anyone from even one expression of love.
I just spoke today with a friend recovering from open-heart surgery. I wouldn’t call him a really close friend necessarily, but at the end of the conversation I had the strongest urge to tell him I loved him. Now I wouldn’t normally do that at this stage in a relationship, but it was his physical fragility and proximity to death that brought it out. I’m pretty sure I was saying: “Hey, I’m just starting to really like you, and I almost lost you. We’re going to spend eternity together, but no so darn fast!” I’m not sure I completely know why, but when life is precious, love is easier to express.
Romans 12:9-10 (NLT) says, “Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
Love is always a big part of any equation in the Body of Christ. Here Paul challenges us to love with genuine affection. And I believe we are speaking here of love both lived out and spoken.
Some may be quick to point out that love only spoken falls short of love acted out, but neither one of these should be taken at the expense of the other. We all need verbal reaffirmation of love. You can’t just know you are loved. You can’t run year after year on the unspoken assumption that someone loves you. We need to hear it. We hear it from the Word of God over and over and we can never get enough. We need to hear it from each other as well.
A good idea would be to say, “I love you,” when it’s not expected. Our family habit of saying “I love you” when we hang up the phone is fine, but an “I love you” in the middle of the day or the middle of a sentence shows that you are actually thinking about your love for someone. It’s not just a habit. It’s a real expression from the heart. God knows we all need that, in any language.
Reflective thoughts –
1. What are some of the barriers you have to verbalizing your love? What can you do to overcome those barriers?
2. How many times a day do you say “I love you” in your family? Increase that number today!
3. Think about how you can speak your love in more unexpected ways. How can you remind yourself to do this?
Monday, May 7, 2012
What Will Last
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week 3; Day 1
“There are three things that will endure – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT)
When time is running out, the main things suddenly become the main things. The unnecessary falls away. If you knew you were looking forward to eternity with God, you would want to spend your last days focusing on that which would translate from this life to the next. When you think of it, the things that last make up a pretty short list.
When asked to name the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).
What an amazing revelation. There are two things, and only two, we experience now that will carry on into eternity: our relationship with God, and our relationships with one another – and love is the driving force that holds them together. That is all. Love, as the Bible defines it, is truly the greatest thing in the world. Love is of God, and God is love. You can’t get any closer to the heart of God.
1 Corinthians 13 defines love for us, and since love is the greatest thing in the world, we should be all over this. Let’s take a look.
“Love is patient and kind.” Patience gives people time to change. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. When I am impatient with my children, it’s because I am thinking of myself first. I have my own agenda they are messing up. This is why kindness is right on the heels of patience: it takes kindness to not act out of your own impatience. By being kind, I am appreciating the value of those around me, and taking their good into consideration.
“Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.” All of these ugly things spring from the self. Love does not take its own needs into account, mainly because it has no needs; it is all about giving. Love extends outward toward others, never inward toward self, because it is entirely unselfconscious. It does not “demand its own way.”
“Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.” This is not allowing others to walk all over you, it is merely saying, “Yes, you wronged me – yes, that hurt – but I am choosing not to hold it against you. In fact, if you bring it up again, I will not know what you are talking about.”
“[Love] is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.” Love is impartial and seeks what is right and just for everyone. Love knows what is right, and does it, even if there is a price to be paid for speaking the truth. And why not, when you’re living like you were dying anyway?
Finally, “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance …” even the ultimate circumstance of death itself. Forget the Energizer Bunny, love just keeps on going.
Reflection Thoughts –
1. How much do the characteristics of love you just read about define your relationships?
2. Which ones are you doing well in and which ones do you need to pay attention to?
3. Pick one characteristic of love you would like to grow in, then develop a prayer and plan to see more of it in your life.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Say It
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings – Week 2; Day 5
My wife and I were in a meeting with the head of a new tutoring program for our son, along with a supervisor and his tutor who is twentysomething with long black hair and pretty dark eyes. She has taken up a new job on the side as a clothing sort manager and significantly upgraded her appearance from when our son started the program. Today, coming straight from work, she was nothing short of stunning.
Our meeting began like a standard business meeting. We all ignored the elephant in the room, which was this woman’s sheer beauty, until my wife, never at a loss for words, turned to her and blurted out in the middle of a sentence about something else, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how absolutely beautiful you are.” The tutor flushed while the other two women appeared flustered for a moment, and then the meeting continued on as before yet with a sense of genuine value that had trumped lesser thoughts.
As the truth always does, my wife’s acknowledgment cut through whatever inappropriate thoughts or games were going on right then in our minds. My temptation to see my son’s tutor as anything other than someone beautiful God created, the other two women’s probable jealousy, not to mention my wife’s struggle in that same area, all dissipated into sheer appreciation of the truth. It was no big deal. It was just my wife speaking sweeter.
You and I have the power to change someone’s life. We can acknowledge the beauty that is there or pull out the beauty that is hidden – the beauty of soul and character where only God looks. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). We can find the beauty where there is old age, sadness, deformity, or just plain run of the mill drabness. We have the power to make someone better with our words or lesser without them.
My wife’s comment was not out of character for her. She does this all the time. It is her gift to encourage and life up others and I have noticed that people love to be around her as a result. She does this unselfishly, and I marvel at how a person’s sense of who they are can blossom around this kind of verbal affirmation. With so much wearing and tearing down in the world, we could all use more lifting up.
The writer of Hebrews says “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13). We are challenged to encourage “today” because when you think about it, that is really all we have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is unknown.
God spoke the world into existence. That’s how powerful words are. If the same God is telling you to say something, you’d better say it. And don’t wait. You may not get a chance tomorrow.
Reflection Questions:
1. Think about a time when someone encouraged you by something they said. How did it make you feel? Knowing that, seek to encourage someone every day this week.
2. If someone were to follow you around this week, which would describe you more – critical or complimentary? Gracious or grumpy? Building up or tearing down?
3. Write down what God is telling you to say to someone, and say it.
My wife and I were in a meeting with the head of a new tutoring program for our son, along with a supervisor and his tutor who is twentysomething with long black hair and pretty dark eyes. She has taken up a new job on the side as a clothing sort manager and significantly upgraded her appearance from when our son started the program. Today, coming straight from work, she was nothing short of stunning.
Our meeting began like a standard business meeting. We all ignored the elephant in the room, which was this woman’s sheer beauty, until my wife, never at a loss for words, turned to her and blurted out in the middle of a sentence about something else, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how absolutely beautiful you are.” The tutor flushed while the other two women appeared flustered for a moment, and then the meeting continued on as before yet with a sense of genuine value that had trumped lesser thoughts.
As the truth always does, my wife’s acknowledgment cut through whatever inappropriate thoughts or games were going on right then in our minds. My temptation to see my son’s tutor as anything other than someone beautiful God created, the other two women’s probable jealousy, not to mention my wife’s struggle in that same area, all dissipated into sheer appreciation of the truth. It was no big deal. It was just my wife speaking sweeter.
You and I have the power to change someone’s life. We can acknowledge the beauty that is there or pull out the beauty that is hidden – the beauty of soul and character where only God looks. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). We can find the beauty where there is old age, sadness, deformity, or just plain run of the mill drabness. We have the power to make someone better with our words or lesser without them.
My wife’s comment was not out of character for her. She does this all the time. It is her gift to encourage and life up others and I have noticed that people love to be around her as a result. She does this unselfishly, and I marvel at how a person’s sense of who they are can blossom around this kind of verbal affirmation. With so much wearing and tearing down in the world, we could all use more lifting up.
The writer of Hebrews says “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13). We are challenged to encourage “today” because when you think about it, that is really all we have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is unknown.
God spoke the world into existence. That’s how powerful words are. If the same God is telling you to say something, you’d better say it. And don’t wait. You may not get a chance tomorrow.
Reflection Questions:
1. Think about a time when someone encouraged you by something they said. How did it make you feel? Knowing that, seek to encourage someone every day this week.
2. If someone were to follow you around this week, which would describe you more – critical or complimentary? Gracious or grumpy? Building up or tearing down?
3. Write down what God is telling you to say to someone, and say it.
On-The-Spot Praying
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings – Week 2; Day 4
One of the most powerful ways we can “speak sweeter” is praying not only for people but with them. There is nothing quite like the gentle strength of a person praying over you.
Have you ever had someone stop everything and pray for you? You were talking with them on the phone or standing in the parking lot having a conversation and that person sensed something in your voice that said you were particularly worried or stressed, so he or she put a hand on your shoulder and said, “Would you mind if I prayed for you right now?” Suddenly you felt the tension go out of your body, you were flooded with warmth, and the words from that person’s mouth flowed like cool water over your thirsty soul. “May I pray for you?” may be some of the sweetest words to come out of someone’s mouth. It’s not only the prayer; it’s the fact that someone cares enough to notice a need and do something about it.
Some Christians have been known to say this to perfect strangers when sensing someone in great distress. Few people, regardless of their beliefs, will turn down prayer especially in a time of need.
We need to be quicker on the draw when it comes to praying for each other. We need to get more in the habit of praying on the spot for people instead of saying we will pray for them at some time in the future. The latter is a statement of intention, and we all know what can happen to our best intentions. Pray on the spot, because otherwise you might forget; and pray on the spot, because your verbal prayer can do for someone in and of itself. If you’re on the Internet, type your prayer and send it.
My mother touched hundreds of people’s lives from her breakfast room. She was what some people call a “prayer warrior” and she has a team of other warriors she would call up in severe cases. People would call her and she would always pray for them over the phone. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who came forward at her memorial service to remember what those prayers meant to them.
Prayer becomes more essential the nearer we come to the end. Here’s what Peter said about it: “The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray” (1 Peter 4:7). Of all the things he could have said given that the end of near, prayer seems the least likely. Yet it is the first thing he mentions. And notice he doesn’t say to pray, but to be continually in a state of mind where you are ready to pray. When you are ready to pray, you are more likely to be on the spot with your prayers. When you’re ready to pray, you’ll find there are people who need it all around you.
Reflection Questions:
1. Make a list of people you would like to pray for and begin to look for an opportunity to pray for them in person.
2. It’s hard to speak ill of someone or gossip about them when you are praying for them. Is there anyone in your life for whom prayer would sweeten the way you speak about them?
3. Read Ephesians 1:14-19 which is a prayer by the Apostle Paul. Notice how different his prayer is than our prayers. Make a list of things he prays for and start praying the same things for your friends.
One of the most powerful ways we can “speak sweeter” is praying not only for people but with them. There is nothing quite like the gentle strength of a person praying over you.
Have you ever had someone stop everything and pray for you? You were talking with them on the phone or standing in the parking lot having a conversation and that person sensed something in your voice that said you were particularly worried or stressed, so he or she put a hand on your shoulder and said, “Would you mind if I prayed for you right now?” Suddenly you felt the tension go out of your body, you were flooded with warmth, and the words from that person’s mouth flowed like cool water over your thirsty soul. “May I pray for you?” may be some of the sweetest words to come out of someone’s mouth. It’s not only the prayer; it’s the fact that someone cares enough to notice a need and do something about it.
Some Christians have been known to say this to perfect strangers when sensing someone in great distress. Few people, regardless of their beliefs, will turn down prayer especially in a time of need.
We need to be quicker on the draw when it comes to praying for each other. We need to get more in the habit of praying on the spot for people instead of saying we will pray for them at some time in the future. The latter is a statement of intention, and we all know what can happen to our best intentions. Pray on the spot, because otherwise you might forget; and pray on the spot, because your verbal prayer can do for someone in and of itself. If you’re on the Internet, type your prayer and send it.
My mother touched hundreds of people’s lives from her breakfast room. She was what some people call a “prayer warrior” and she has a team of other warriors she would call up in severe cases. People would call her and she would always pray for them over the phone. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who came forward at her memorial service to remember what those prayers meant to them.
Prayer becomes more essential the nearer we come to the end. Here’s what Peter said about it: “The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray” (1 Peter 4:7). Of all the things he could have said given that the end of near, prayer seems the least likely. Yet it is the first thing he mentions. And notice he doesn’t say to pray, but to be continually in a state of mind where you are ready to pray. When you are ready to pray, you are more likely to be on the spot with your prayers. When you’re ready to pray, you’ll find there are people who need it all around you.
Reflection Questions:
1. Make a list of people you would like to pray for and begin to look for an opportunity to pray for them in person.
2. It’s hard to speak ill of someone or gossip about them when you are praying for them. Is there anyone in your life for whom prayer would sweeten the way you speak about them?
3. Read Ephesians 1:14-19 which is a prayer by the Apostle Paul. Notice how different his prayer is than our prayers. Make a list of things he prays for and start praying the same things for your friends.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Finding The Words
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings … Week 2; Day 3
What keeps us from saying what we really feel to those we love? If we are afraid, what are we afraid of? What are some of the barriers that keep us from expressing what is really in our hearts? How can we remove them?
I’m sure you know the feeling. The love is there – you may even rehearse what you are going to say – but when you open your mouth in that person’s presence something else comes out, or in some cases, nothing at all. You might even notice yourself doing or saying exactly the opposite of what you really want.
We are all victims of the patterns that have formed in our lives and relationships – well-worn grooves into which we fall without trying. And maybe that’s part of the problem right there: we aren’t trying. These patterns can become so deep, it takes something earth-shattering to force us out of them. This change of perspective is precisely the by-product of living like you were dying.
If you were dying, you would find it easier to say the things you always wanted to say to your loved ones. In the Old Testament, when Jacob was about to die, he called his sons together. “… these are the blessing with which Jacob blessed his twelve sons. Each received a blessing that was appropriate to him” (Genesis 49:28 NLT).
What we’re talking about doing during these thirty days is changing the lens through which we see people. Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed to speak words of blessing.
Here are some ways you might do this. If it’s a spouse, remember the one you married – the wife/husband of your youth. Recall why you loved them in the first place and reattach yourself to that love. If it’s a child or sibling, remember their best qualities. See them as you would see them from your deathbed and bless them for who they are. If it’s a parent, regardless of how they may have failed you, they gave you the gift of life and for that you can be eternally grateful. Remember that have had their own struggles in life, some of which you may never understand, because they lived in a different time and place.
Don’t be shy. Speak what’s in your heart; this may be your last chance to let someone know. Don’t leave your loved ones wondering if you loved them just because you didn’t have a chance to tell them. Tell them now.
When it comes to speaking your heart, there is no better time than the present. And if you can’t express what you really want to say, try living like you were dying.
Reflection Questions –
1. What are some of your barriers to speaking sweeter to those you love?
2. Ironically we usually experience the greatest barriers to expressing our true feeling with the ones we know the best. Think about that person in light of what you would say to them if you were dying. Write it down if you need to, then commit yourself to saying it soon … TODAY.
3. One of the most powerful ways to speak sweeter is through writing a letter. Consider taking the time to write a “love letter” to somebody you care about deeply.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
A Kind Word
Taken from the Live Like You Are Dying Daily Readings - Week 2; Day 2
“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24 NLT)
My neighbor walked out of her house the other morning looking like she had the world on her shoulders. All the way to the car, her gaze was fixed on the ground and I could see the furrows on her brow from across the street. She was so set on her moody thoughts that she didn’t see me pacing in front of my house cooling down from a morning jog. My neighbor does a good deal of traveling, so I really meant it when I yelled over to her, “Hi Doris! It’s so nice to see you around these days!”
Well you wouldn’t believe the change in countenance that swept instantly over her face. I’ve never seen anything like it – such a dramatic change. I could almost read her thoughts. It was as if she were saying, “Your words are so much better than what I was just thinking about. I think I’ll choose your version of this moment right now over mine!”
We underestimate the difference we can make in someone’s life, even a stranger’s, with a kind word.
We live such isolated lives these days behind invisible walls. We walk by each other on the street, stand next to each other in the elevator, wash our hands beside each other in the restroom without a word or even an acknowledgment that the other exists. So many people are afraid, trapped in their own private loneliness. This isolation presents an incredible opportunity for those of us who are followers of Christ. There’s enough time left to overcome that fear and reach out to someone with a smile and a kind word.
Yes, even a smile can do it. When you smile at someone you are saying, “I see you there. Whoever you are, and whatever you are going through, you are worth noticing.” Try it and watch people light up.
John Kevin Hines is one of a handful of people who have survived an attempted suicide jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. He claims to have told himself that if any one of the hundreds of people he rubbed shoulders with on the way to the bridge noticed he was distraught, and asked him what was wrong, he wouldn’t jump. That’s all it would have taken – another human being to acknowledge his existence. No one did. On his way down he literally got a hold of his life and asked God for a second chance, which is miraculously what he got, or we never would have heard how he was a smile away from death.
It doesn't take much. Just a few simple words to my neighbor that morning actually changed her countenance and outlook. And, I can't help but believe that the smile on her face lasted at least a few blocks down the road. Who knows, it might have just altered her whole day.
Reflection Questions -
1. Think back to an occasion when someone spoke words of encouragement to you just at the time you needed them. What difference did it make in your life?
2. Is there someone you see regularly whose life you could affect by a kind word or two?
3. Make it your goal to make eye contact with people you pass throughout the day and acknowledge their existence. And say a kind word to those you see regularly like store clerks, bank tellers, waiters or neighbors.
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